Oct. 31st

Dear Diary,

WOE IS ME. Oh woe. Woe has befallen my delicate ears, walnut sized head, and edibly cute feet. I have thrown up every AM since Friday. Usually around 5am. Am I pregnant, I asked myself?!?!? No. That's impossible. How ever could my greatness multiply?! Alas... I have decided that Mini Person's socks have gone rancid, and that's what's making me sick. Who leaves unfit to eat socks laying around?! He's a menace to the world and must be stopped. Mother Person said something about finding a new hamper for him that's dog proof. Good luck, lady. I know physics which is freakish for a dog-- I'll admit it. So you can't keep me away, maybe you should figure out why his socks make me sick, huh?? This isn't a "me" problem here. I am "sock free" at the moment though. I hope I don't get peckish this afternoon.

So, after Mother Person told me off for the vomit on the carpet (I don't like vomiting on the hard wood floor-- it seems rude to the wood and the tree that died to make it) she put me in this.

Not even the comfort of Soft Touch's lap could save my disgrace. She thinks I'm JUST a skeleton, and not Johnny from Karate Kid. She just doesn't get me. Soft Touch gave me snuggles and I licked his nose till he couldn't stand it any longer. That was fun. Mother Person did the same but I don't count those as genuine. I know pandering when I see it. 

Mini Person has also starting telling me "no" when I bark at the Evil Lurking Hallway creatures. Really? Fine. FINE. When he gets eaten by a Hallway monster because I wasn't allowed to protect him, don't come crying to me!!!!!!

Sigh. 

It snowed this weekend. What the heck is that?! I couldn't go to French class. I couldn't sniff the sidewalk properly. I see Mother Person eying my puffer jacket with way too much excitement. Misery. Je suis malheureux. (Phew, I haven't lost it... Je suis si intelligent.) 

Sincerely, 

Beans A Wienerdog