Monday, December 5, 2011

December 5th, 2011

Dear Diary,

As you can see, it's been a LONG time since I've been able to diary my life. I've been so withdrawn, you see. The misery and injustices just keep coming. Did you know I wasn't suppose to eat a plastic toddler snack cup???? (It doesn't hold toddlers, it holds their cheesy or peanut butter snacks.... Just clarifying.) It was delicious. Even if a bit hard on the gums. But NOOOOOOO. That's not FOR wienerdogs. Quell surprise?! What IS for wienerdogs?!?!?! Snuggles 24-7??? Cozy down blankets?! Sunshine patches all day?!?! Nope. None of those things happen either. I find ONE bit of joy in a stupid plastic cup... and I get a stern talking to and some plastic in my morning BM. Misery.

Look at me. How terrible is this?? They didn't fluff my blanket!!!!! It's "microfiber." I deserve nothing less than macrofiber!!! I don't know what that means by micro sounds small and something the cleaning staff sleeps with.

I'd like to mention I haven't eaten a sock in 3 days. And frankly, I don't think the mini-person's friend's sock... and her nanny-person's socks should count. I mean, it was fairly hilarious watching them walk home with only one sock each. Sigh. No one gets my humor.


Beans A. Wienerdog

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