Dear Diary,
Today was going so well. Grand I'd even venture to say... Then that mini-person left half a fruit bar on his high chair. I knew I shouldn't jump up and take it. But, it was sitting RIGHT there. And I had clearance to pounce and take it. The honey badger in me beat up my Jiminy Cricket a LOOONNNGGG time ago, so of course, I took the fruit bar. And got caught. Oh sweet misery. No treats for me today. I got the "bad dog" talking to. Even mini-person got in on that. How condescending. He poops his pants and I'm the one who's wrong?? This is survival people!! This is how wienerdogs live in the wild!! Yes, by stealing Whole Foods Fruit Bars from high chairs! I think our wolf cousins taught us this... I don't know, ask Darwin. He'll know... (Darwin is a wise Malamute I once met in the park.)
I need to rest. This fiber is going through me like a dumptruck. Why do they buy the multi-grain fruit bars?!! They're rough on my system. They should know better. Course it may help me work through this sock I've been digesting. The mini person's friend's sock hasn't reappeared yet, nor her nanny-person's. Huh.
Sincerely,
Beans A. Wienerdog
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