Tuesday, December 6, 2011

December 6th, 2011

Dear Diary,

Number of injustices since last entry: 14
Number of snuggles: 12
Number of treats: buh
Number of insincere snuggles: 12

Mother person put up the sparkly tree in the house again. She's so lazy. TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE WOMAN!!! THERE ARE TONS OF TREES OUT THERE!!! Why bring it in the house?!?!! Course, it is adorned with several replicas of my gorgeous face. None of them do me justice, mind you. No one can recreate my bronze patches. 

The mini-person seems to think this whole this is AMAZING. And he's even impressed-- or a little shocked-- that there are replicas of ME and none of HIM on said tree. WELL!!! Isn't THIS a shocking turn of events!!!! Is there a figurine of YOU driving a car??? NO!!! (He does call it the "Dogger bruum bruum" which is slightly adorable, but only slightly.)  

Wearing a hat??

In a stocking???

HA!! I WIN!! I BEAT YOU LITTLE PERSON!!! Just this once. I'll take it and be joyful that I am supreme ornament muse. For about 5 minutes I will know bliss... and then it will fade away again. And I'll just be a wienerdog who doesn't get to eat an entire ribeye steak. Even when I ask nicely. Misery. I need my iron intake!! No wonder I'm so very weak. 

Beans A. Wienerdog

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