Oct. 27th

Dear Diary,

Miserable things since last entry: 29
Treats given: 4

I GOT A NEW BONE!!!! I GOT A NEW BONE!! It's purple and has nubbies on it and I love it and it's MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL MINE!!!!!!!! If Mini Person steals it or pitches it in the garbage can-- which is his new "cute" trick-- I will be VERY CROSS. How is that cute and me dry heaving a sock at 5am is "annoying"? I don't understand. Injustice.

The Mini Person got a Halloween costume in the mail-- an Ewok. God and everything that's holy help me if they make me be Princess Leah. I will NOT wear my ears in a bun again. And drapey white robes nor gold bikinis look good on my delicate frame. And! I'm a boy. Granted, I'm not terribly masculine, but that's besides the point. It's Halloween not "The Crying Game."

I GOT A NEW BONE!!!! But never fear, plenty to be miserable about.

Sincerely,
Beans A Wienerdog