May 4th, 2012

Dear Diary,

There is no sun now.
What great misery I feel.
Cold sorrow soaks in.

See that, Diary? I'm forced to speak in haikus now. THAT'S HOW BAD IT IS. The hallway monsters were bowling last night and making me VERY nervous. Mother person explained it as thunder. I looked at her perplexed. I thought thunder was a derogatory way to explain thighs. I don't even know what goes through her head anymore.

She bought another vacuum cleaner. Why. Why must she do this!??! Why doesn't she just get rid of the thing that makes the mess that requires said vacuum cleaning?! Don't you say it, Diary. I do not shed. Stop judging me.

Misery is sad.
I have no justice anymore.
Vacuum you suck bad.

Oh, that one even rhymed. Nice touch if I do say so myself. And a pun? Wow, I think I've really hit my stride on these.

I am so pretty.
Long ears and snout are so grand.
Please give me bacon.

Must rest. All this creativity wears me out.

Sincerely,
Beans A. Wienerdog